Tornadoes in Brooklyn – Evidence of Government Weather Machine?

In Nikola Tesla, Politics, Stupid People on September 21, 2010 at 3:17 PM

You betcha!

What more compelling evidence do you need? Come on, do you really think all this weather-related chaos is Mother Nature’s doing? Hella no, Basquiat! Everyone knows it’s the Gumment comin’ for da Hipstas.

Just in case you haven’t kept up on your conspiracy theory, alternate history, shadow government lore – the “Government” allegedly has a massive weather-controlling device that was designed by none other than Nikolas Tesla (my big fave of all time). They keep it up in Outer Podunk, just past Nowheresville, Alaska. Don’t believe me? Well ex-wrestler/ex-Governor Jesse Ventura uncovered the layer cake cover up and brought the whole thing to light on his teevee show.

This is a super cool vid that REALLY explains it all.

So, anyway. We all know Governments want to topple each other and America is especially vulnerable now that we’ve single-handedly smashed the world economy. I’m sure lots of nations are just itching to get us back for that. How can we possibly defend ourselves? With HAARP, of course. Now, in the United Nations charter, or footnotes, or somewhere, there’s an agreement between nations that they wouldn’t use weather-manipulation weapons against each other. Wow. So cool. So obvi, the capability for using such weapons is there. Who could have designed such an incredible device? Only everyone’s super fave of all time – Nikola Tesla.

But there’s nothing anywhere stating nations couldn’t use the weather weapon on their own turf. So, is that why Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans? So they could redistribute all the Democrat-voting lower-income peeps away from the area? Or was it just a big oops? And if it was a big oops, did the same idiots just oops it up on Brooklyn?

Let’s follow the facts: Nola is a very hip, cultured, diverse, and historically important area that houses a lot of musicians, artists, writers, and social rebels. Wow. Look at that. I just described Brooklyn, too.

But why would the Government unleash such a weapon on the hipsters of Brooklyn? Because they’re annoying as hell, people. You know you want to say it. When you see some hipster coming at you with their thrift-store threads and their tats you brace yourself. Will it be a pleasant “Hey man, howzitgoin?”, or will it be a smirk and an eye-roll because you’re wearing a baseball cap instead of a porkpie hat? Also, the jealousy factor. How many of you, don’t lie, have seen some hipster wearing or riding something so flipping uber cool and thought to yourself “Where did that *&%$# hipster get that?” It’s all true, you know it is, admit it, don’t lie. So, it’s not hard to figure out why the Government would go after all the cool people in Nola and Brooklyn.

The big question is, what are we gonna do about it? Are we going to let this hipster annihilation just roll on by? Stand up, people! Defend Williamsburg! Defend the Treme! Silverlake could be next!

PS – Yes, I do know that little tornadoes have been known to hit Huntington Beach, but everyone there is so totally faux and no one cares if HB gets wiped out, so. Although, everyone knows Long Beach would be a grievous loss.


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