Archive for August, 2010|Monthly archive page

Why is San Francisco airport always such a drag?

In Stupid People on August 22, 2010 at 7:54 PM

I had reason to leave the area and I had to use San Francisco airport and it was a total drag. Just so you know.

Also, it took me over 4 hours to get to Half Moon Bay, where i was visiting a friend. Really, SFO? 4 hours of my life just to get out of your lousy airport and down to Half Moon Bay. I am saddened at what service has become in this country. There was a really indolent girl working at the CalTrain station and she was helping a really self-important customer when I got there. After 15 minutes, really no lie, the man in line behind me started making noise about missing trains. The self-important customer, a very smug kind of person, turned to all of us behind him in line and started lecturing us on how to travel. He smugly told us that he always purchases tickets online ahead of time and that he also always arrives anywhere he’s going at least 30 minutes early. The implication was that all of us in line behind him were idiots, incompetents, or just not savvy.

I strongly believe he was speaking to the wrong crowd. I let the man behind me go next in line as I’d already missed my train. The self-important man overheard this exchange, which admittedly couldn’t have been hard. He then turned to us and said “Well, it’s not my fault you missed your train. You should blame your own poor planning. Take my advice and…” He shut his fat, dumb mouth right about then because there was a large man two people behind me in line who stepped forward and said “I don’t like the sound of your voice. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

Normally I don’t go for this type of public intimidation, but it was quite a heart-warming Hallmark moment. I wished later that intimidating man had ridden in the shuttle van with me. Our van driver was of Eastern European descent and seemed quite fond of frightening his passengers. He made of game of running stale yellow and a few bright red lights. The van bucked and swerved, luggage fell over, and the passengers called out things like “Look out!” and “Please slow down!”, but the driver didn’t seem to hear or care. The two Asian passengers tried to talk to him saying, “Sir, please have consideration of our safety”, and “Please, sir. Consider the safety of us”, but the driver only yelled back to not talk to him while he was driving as it was unsafe.

My thoughts were running wild on the ride. I didn’t want to die with these people. I also didn’t want to die right then as it was inconvenient and I’m not prepared. I don’t think I even have a Life Insurance policy on myself at the moment. Also, I don’t have instructions for my family in the event of my death.

I’d prefer no heroic measures, I suppose. Also, I don’t have anything of too much value, so who cares about any of that? I’d prefer to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the Pacific, but not too near the Mexican border because I’m mad at Mexico right now.

I’ll have to think more on this. Is planning one’s death macabre or morbid? I don’t know, but it’s certainly a lot more fun than planning the rest of your miserable life sometimes.


Is Life Worth Living?

In Politics, Stupid People on August 12, 2010 at 9:04 AM

That’s really the big Q, isn’t it?

At this point, I’m not entirely sure. I mean what do we really have to look forward to? The climate is rapidly changing. Are we prepared for what’s to come? Clearly not. And what of it? Supersize hurricanes, violent tornadoes, massive snowstorms, raging floods, torrential downpours, blazing heat…extreme weather in a nutshell, right? How fun is that?

Plus, the economy. Um…yeah. I don’t think I can really say anything more on that subject without screaming like a lunatic and shooting myself in the head with a pneumatic nail gun, so.

Relationships, then? That’s always a hotbed of controversy to fall back on.

I’m glad Prop H8 was overturned by a sensible judge. UNCONSTITUTIONAL, People! That’s twice it’s been struck down from the bench for being unconstitutional. Of course the h8ers are taking it further. That’s cool. Let’s see how far this hatred train goes.

Yes, I said hatred train. As in Meg Whitman. Let’s talk about that crazy red lady for a moment. Who said anger management? Was it me? I think it was, actually. Nuttier than a fruitcake, this one. Unstable. Unable to manage her emotional self.

Now she wants to be the savior of the Latino community. Really, Meg? Which one? Rancho Mirage? Rancho Santa Fe? Is that what you were thinking? Because normally when sane and rational people in the know speak about the Latino community, they are referring to people of Hispanic descent. You know, like the ones you want to cut off from jobs and civil rights.

Meg Whitman is a liar, in Spanish

Did I tell you this nutjob beat the crap out of her publicity person when she was still trying to steer eBay away from the disasters she created? Oh yeah, kids. Believe it.

Meg Whitman’s professional standards

The woman got like $200k and then later came back after “Wig-outman” left the building for good. How scary to have some maniac Republican “escort” you out of the room because you dare speak the truth in front of others. This makes me wonder if Whitman is really a man with a tiny little penis. It would definitely explain some of her more bizarre behavior.

Anyway, there’s really not too much to discuss about Whitman. She’s frightening because she’s a GW Bush in female panties, which if you ask certain peeps in the know, it’s not the first time GW Bush has been in female panties. Take that however you want, kids.

In other ridiculous news, I heard Ellen Degeneres turned down some documentary filmmakers who are trying to finish up an expose on Big Pig oil. They asked her Gayness for a measly $10k and she said no. So, give her the finger if you see her for me, will ya? Any finger will do, I’m not a fascist about it.

Should we talk about Mel Gibson today? No, I’ll save him for tomorrow. He’s a post all to himself.